Still not sure what to say

So this blog had just started and I was all excited and then - coronavirus. Forget about what to write, I have had no idea what to think, just like everyone else. We're all scared. I'm scared because my kids are high risk, and I know what it's like to watch your child on a ventilator. Their lungs are compromised, particularly Gavin's. This virus is so horrific to so many, and I'm terrified. Most people are, and I wish I knew what to say.

These last few weeks have brought back all of the anxiety of the NICU and the first couple years afterward. The breathing treatments, the oxygen desaturation, the extreme fear of germs, of grocery stores, of gas pumps, of the knowledge that even a cold could be deadly (at that time). The most important part of my day is giving Gavin his twice daily treatments for his asthma, making sure we have plenty stocked in our cabinet while also pushing vitamins, probiotics, water, fruits, and vegetables into all of us in any way possible. We sanitize. We stay home. We wave to our neighbors from twenty feet away. And then we pray.

I allow myself only about four news checks per day to avoid overwhelming anxiety. I focus on trying to switch my physical therapy patients to virtual treatment and home schooling the twins. We walk our dog, and everyone in our neighborhood politely crosses streets and keeps compliant with social distancing. The twins play in the backyard and drive their battery-powered car in the cul de sac, yelling hello to their best friends next door when they call down from an upstairs window.

And we wait.

Currently, the twins are missing their friends, but they're happy with all this extra mom and dad time (or so they say!). Our dog is loving all her walks. And we focus on this time together, taking everything day by day, just as we did six and a half years ago on Tulip Lane in the NICU.

Love to everyone, and stay healthy.